Blair Underwood’s Aha! Moment

October 20, 2008 at 6:55 pm (Uncategorized)

The Dirty Sexy Money actor thought solving problems made him a man. Then his wife taught him that sometimes, the best solution is just listening.

My parents have been married for 48 years. They are my heroes in love, and they’ve taught me what a relationship can be—enduring and powerful.

I grew up in a pretty traditional household. My father, who was a colonel in the Army, was the breadwinner, and my mother was the caretaker. He was responsible for putting food on the table and keeping us safe; she cooked, cleaned, and nurtured us. When my dad wasn’t around, my brother and I were the de facto men of the house. We learned to repair the VCR, to change the oil in the car, to lock the doors at night. If there was a tornado coming, or if there had been robberies in the neighborhood, it was up to us males to make sure our family was secure.

I took this role to heart when I was young and feeling my way around my relationship with my wife-to-be, Desiree. I wanted to be her rock, her protector. If she had a problem, I wanted to solve it. I thought that’s what was expected of me.

One evening 14 years ago, when we were engaged to be married, Desiree and I went out for the night. On the way back, driving on the dark roads toward our home in the Hollywood Hills, she began to talk to me about a heavy issue in her life. She was venting, and I, as usual, interjected with a series of solutions.

In her patient way, she turned to me, put her hand on my arm, and looked me straight in the eye. “Baby, I don’t need you to fix it,” she said. “I just need you to listen to me.”

As a man, it can be confusing to know what role to play. There I was, with the woman I would soon marry, trying to jockey for position in her life. What did it mean to be her significant other? That night, I understood that it meant I needed to hear her when she spoke to me. Trying to come up with ways to solve her problems gave me a false sense of control, and when I offered up unsolicited advice, I was disrespecting a strong woman who knew how to handle her own life. I was relieved as well; she didn’t expect me to always have an answer for her. She wasn’t coming to me for a repair. She just needed a shoulder to cry on.

From then on, my relationship with my wife, with my mother, female friends, sisters, has opened up. They have become more honest, and we’ve gotten to know one another better. I’m no longer afraid to not know. But if they ask for my advice? Then I give it to them.

I’ve also seen shifts in my parents’ relationship. As they’ve grown older, my mother has become ill with multiple sclerosis. Now my father, formerly the strict military man, cares for her. He cooks for her, helps her with daily chores. I’ve seen their willingness to make changes as life demands.

From my parents, I thought I learned how to be a man—to be a fixer, as I interpreted the role. Later on, I understood that there needs to be flexibility in a relationship. And driving home that night, my wife taught me what it means to be a man in my relationship with her. Fourteen years of marriage and three kids later, I’m still listening.

As told to Justine van der Leun

 LATER———-

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Does it still Rain in late October?

October 18, 2008 at 9:55 am (Uncategorized)

Hey guys, its 9am and the earth still looks like 9pm, writing for Lagos, Nigeria

Men WATS happening? Africa is GODBLESSED; we don’t usually see disasters, except human ones but today seem to have lost it.

But I have to go out; I can’t afford to be at Home today not when my sister needs me,

Here is what I found out— check it out

http://raining-rubber.blogspot.com/2008_10_01_archive.html

 

http://popseoul.com/2008/10/06/rains-rainism-is-the-rainiest-rainy-rain-new-album-pictures/

 

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FIVE STEPS TO GETTING WHAT YOU WANT

October 18, 2008 at 9:35 am (Uncategorized)

\letget  started””””

Ø      Know what u don’t want

Ø      Select what you like to Have, Do and Be

Ø      Get very Clear wiv yourself

Ø      Feel how exciting it would be to have, do,

Or be what you want.

v     Let Go

 

*      Check recent quotes From great Writers  

 

“If we don’t like what’s happening to us in the world,

all we have to do is change our consciousness—and the

world out there changes for us!”

n      Lester Levenson, “Keys to the Ultimate Freedom,” 1993

 

“Living at risk is jumping off the cliff and building your

wings on the way down.”

— Ray Bradbury

 

“Try to remember that the picture you think, feel and see

is reflected into the Universal Mind, and by the natural law of

reciprocal action must return to you in either spiritual or

physical form.”

n      Your Invisible Power by Genevieve Behrend, 1921

 

“Prosperity is the ability to do what you want to do at

the instant you want to do it.”

n      Treat Yourself to Life by Raymond Charles Barker, 1954

 

Feel the joy of having what you want—feel it right

 now—and you will begin to pull it to you and you to it.

 

“The whole process of mental, spiritual and material

 riches may be summed up in one word: Gratitude.”

Your Infinite Power to be Rich by Joseph Murphy, 1966

 

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Think and Grow ur Hair

October 18, 2008 at 1:42 am (Uncategorized)

A few months back, I posted about a fascinating bit of research that revealed you can literally “think” yourself stronger.

What I didn’t share was that post was just one stop in a years-long fascination with the power of the mind and, especially, the placebo effect.

I get the potential mechanism for strengthening muscles through visualized exercise, but I’ve recently stumbled upon a discovery that blew me away…

Certain people can actually think their way into stopping hair loss and regrowing hair.

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Hello world!

October 18, 2008 at 12:24 am (Uncategorized)

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!

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